Thursday, January 31, 2008

Stressed to the max

This week has been REALLY rough for me. I already wrote about how tough Sunday was, and it has only gotten worse. On Monday, my piano lesson went absolutely TERRIBLE! I forgot literally EVERY piece and I've had all of them memorized for at least a month. And the one piece that I've had memorized for 6 months (which I'm playing this Saturday for the Thursday Musical...which my teacher is the president of...so if I do bad, I feel like I'm ruining her reputation), I forgot. Completely. I had to turn back in my book and look up like EVDRY SINGLE PHRASE! I told my teacher I didn't know what was up, and she said that maybe it's just the pre-performing syndrome where you have this "I-CAN'T-DO-THIS-PERFORMANCE-I-DON'T-KNOW-THE-PIECE" sorta thing going on in the back of your head. Sigh. Then, she mentioned a camp at Northwestern college that she was excited about telling me about, and (since I did some research on camps last week) I told her about this camp at Eastman which I was really excited about telling her about. I did tell her thankyou for the pamphlet about the Northwestern college camp, but I'm afraid that I came off as a bit of an ungrateful brat or something. Sigh. And I did send her another thankyou e-mail, but that's still been bugging me. Then Tuesday, I was still overwhelmed with the piano stuff. And Wednesday. And today I had practice at the St. Paul Conservatory, and I KEPT MESSING UP on simple parts and we play for the Schubert Club next Thursday! YIKES! Plus I'm playing on a harpsichord at the concert next Thursday....and that's another big stresser because I played the harpsichord today and the keys are TINY (like...MAYBE 3 inches long or something) and you hafta press REALLY hard to even get a sound, and you can't play any loud/soft dynamics on a harpsichord no matter how hard you press! And if you press too lightly, you get no sound at all! So.....I'm just really stressed out. However, I did talk to Josh and he really encouraged me by reminding me that I'm not playing for my teacher's fame or anything, but it's all about Christ. So that's what I will pray about focusing on throughout the next few weeks. Later,
sweetggirl

6 comments:

Sola Gratia said...

Rachel. Face it. You're more mature than I am. I'd be tearing my hair out right now if I was you.

pianochick_92 said...

No, I'm not more mature than you are...and besides, I was/am to the point of wanting to tear my hair out. I just think that it'd look really bad.....:p

Peacefinger said...

Well, all I know is I'm more mature than both of you put together.

Peacefinger said...

JK

Peacefinger said...

Isn't awesome how supportive I am.

pianochick_92 said...

LOL, oh gosh...I just noticed Abe posted on here. LOL, THANKS. *sigh* And yes Abe, it's awesome how supportive you are. *sigh*