Who am I

So lately, I've been REALLY busy. I've had no time for blogging, and surprisingly, I've been on facebook less than 5 hours per day. :p Anyway, the past week and a half has been a little rough for me. Last Monday, I had an audition for a Master Class and I didn't get through. And sure, maybe part of it is that I haven't had a lesson in over a month. But still. It plays on me. And then today, I had a Master Class. It went horribly. My playing went horribly. The Master Class went horribly. It was just....horrible. And I had a conversation with the vice president of the festival the Master Class was a part of. And it made me a bit discouraged. Again. Made me wonder why in the world I'm pursuing music. Made me wonder if I even have a chance in the music world. Until this evening when I went to accompany at a church. And it was like, the Lord wrote the verses in the bulletin. Job 38:1-11 were the verses. I'll only post the eleven verses, but I went back to read Job 38-42. And the conversation between Job and God continues for a while. "Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said: Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Now prepare yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer Me. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?Tell Me, if you have understanding.Who determined its measurements?Surely you know!Or who stretched the line upon it? To what were its foundations fastened?Or who laid its cornerstone,When the morning stars sang together,And all the sons of God shouted for joy? Or who shut in the sea with doors,When it burst forth and issued from the womb;When I made the clouds its garment,And thick darkness its swaddling band;When I fixed My limit for it,And set bars and doors;When I said,‘This far you may come, but no farther, And here your proud waves must stop!" And Job's reply is simply(Job 42:2),"I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You." And that has to be my reply too. I don't know why I'm doing music. I can't explain why I love it so much. I can't tell what the future will or won't hold for me. But I do know one thing. I know that the Lord can do everything, and that no purpose of His can be stopped. It doesn't matter how improbable or how probable certain circumstances are. It doesn't matter if I have a low IQ or a high IQ. It doesn't matter if I end up being a person who tries at music and in the world's eyes, fails or if I end up being a Mozart. All that matters is that the Lord is in control and He can do anything He wants to with my life. So even though at this point in my life when I'm totally blinded to the future it's hard to rest in that, I know that the Lord has my hand and He's taking me through this crazy life maze and in the end, everything He has planned for me will be far better than I ever could've imagined it. Later,
Rachel