So, I just got news to make this week seemingly the worst week of my life. Then again, maybe, just maybe, it's actually the best week of my life. I mean, the trials make you stronger, right? So I just opened an e-mail like twenty minutes ago. And my worst fear came true. Rejection. And, how do you deal with it? I mean, first I tried to act all calm. But I can't. For some reason, I can't stop crying. And I sorta thought about a C.S. Lewis quote, about how the only way you won't ever be heartbroken is if you lock up your heart and shut it and never let anyone into it, because at some time or another, if you truly love anyone, you will be hurt by them. And I think that's sorta the same way with hope, ya know? Like, the only way that you can guard yourself from being broken is by not hoping in anything. And originally, that was my plan. But as much as I wanted to, I couldn't just ex off Colburn. I couldn't just go on without any hope of making it in. And yes, that's the e-mail I'm talking about. A rejection letter from Colburn. So, now I'm somewhat shattered. I mean, how am I supposed to take not getting past a pre-screening even? At times like this, I sorta consider quitting music. Like, maybe this is just a sign that I should pursue something else, and God's only way of getting that across to me is to allow me to really mess up some recitals or competitions or get rejected from a measley pre-screening portion of a conservatory's audition process. I just don't know some times. But in the midst of it all, I do have faith that the Lord will work all things out better than I could ever imagine. Later,
Rachel
About Me
- pianochick_92
- NJ, United States
- I am a girly girl. I love dressing feminine/preppy/american-eagle-y. I love high heels, and make-up is just as much of a security blanket to me as the sustain pedal on the piano. I'm not short, I'm just fun-sized. I love music more than just about anything. I am really passionate about the things of Christ, especially when it comes to His body of believers and the church. I like to serve. I love innocent romance (especially Romeo-Juliet style: Oh, where art my Romeo?!). My favorite color is purple. Second to Christ, music is my life. The rest is just details.
2 comments:
That really sux, girl. hi, btw :) but lets look on the bright side and say that you hav a lot of life before you yet. a lot of years tp accomplish a lot. you will get where God wants you, and I gaurantee that even if it is not what you had in mind, as long as you trust God to work it out for you, you will be very happy where He puts you :)
Your blog really encouraged me Rach. Also, I listened to that Debussy piece you put up and something dawned on me. You don't have to be a doctor, a businessman, or an athlete to be fulfilled with life. All that matter, as God's Word says, is that we do all to His glory. And you do that beatifully thru piano. I apologize for grumbling about your playing over the years. Musis is meant to glorify God in its expression and the piano is one of the most beautiful conveyers of that message. I added some classical stations to my Pandora account :) Love u Rach. Lord takes care of us.
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