An inspiring prayer

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit down, so out of sheer....well, frustration I guess, I went ballistic and started writing on my wall with chalk. I found myself writing Psalm 139:13,"I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Thy works and that my soul knoweth right well." It's like....at points, it's hard for me to realize that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Like...I forget that the Lord created me how He wanted to make me or something. And...when I complain, basically I'm shouting out to the Lord, "Hey, I don't like the way You made me. Now I'm stuck trying to figure out how to make myself look different.", rather than, "Lord, I will PRAISE You because You have made me wonderfully." or something like that. And I also wrote the fighter verse of my life, Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Then, I thought about an inspiring prayer I read about while looking for diaries on Thursday, hence the title of my post. I think it's sorta sad that it's known for alchoholic recovery people. I think it is very inspiring for everybody. It is also known as the Serenity Prayer, and I wrote it on my wall. It goes like this:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with HimForever in the next.Amen.

And then on Friday I played at Hope Academy in Minneapolis. It went REALLY well! And I really enjoyed it. Apparently, the kids did too, which made me really happy. One girl was like, "If you become famous, will you remember me? My name is.....*I forgot her name*" but it was SO SWEET! And if some lady ever comes up to me thirty years from now IF the Lord works it out where I am a concert pianist and asks me do I remember her, I WILL. I mean, I remember her face...just not her name. Anyway, that was encouraging. Well, this is long. Later,

Busy busy busy....

Well, this week has been great. REALLY busy for me, but great. I FINALLY got my SAT scores back, and it went okay, thank the Lord! A little better than I thought. So yeah. And I've practiced piano A TON this week. Yesterday, I practiced 7 hours, which is my record...and I don't think I'll be breaking that record for at least a couple of years,LOL. On Tuesday, I played at the hospital again, and that is ALWAYS a joy. On Thursday, I had practice with the trio and stuff......and today I played at a new coffee house in River Falls. Well, the coffee house isn't exactly new...sorta new...I think it's been there for about 2 years or something. But it's my first time playing there...and it was GREAT! And I had this REALLY good mocha thingymabob. I asked if they had anything mocha-y-ish, and they asked if I wanted caramel, vanilla, or chocolate and....I LOVE CHOCOLATE....so I got it for the first time EVER and it was SOOOOO good. Like a dream,LOL. I mean, I've had mocha shakes, mocha milk, and made my own "mocha" stuff but NOTHING was as good as this thing. Anyway...I have my first piano competition in almost exactly two weeks and I don't even have my piece memorized yet! I've been putting it off WAY too long. But I'll pray about it. It seems like I'm ALWAYS running up to the wire on memorization of my pieces, and the Lord always comes through. Like last year....I had Clair de Lune memorized like 3 days be4 my audition at Interlochen (4 days be4 the WMTA competition) and prayed about it and the Lord came through for me! So yeah. Anyway....that's all that's new. Later,
sweetggirl

.........Title.........?

Well, the concert on Thursday went surprisingly well! And I was really thankful for that. Although the harpsichord was still SO WEIRD. The main keys were black, and the sharps/flats were white! So yeah, then we went out to eat at the St. Paul Grill which was pretty awesome. And I was able to get to know the people in the Baroque Ensemble at the Conservatory which was really cool. So yeah. And then on Thursday, I was reading my daily reading thingy from my daily Bible and Psalm 19:7-14 was the Psalm reading for the day(it has OT, Psalm, Proverbs, and NT readings each day). Psalm 19:7-14 really seemed to comfort me. But what struck me the most was verse 14, which says, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heard be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer." And I've heard that verse SO MANY times before, but what hit me was the fact that alot of times, the words of my mouth (or the words I type through e-mail, IM, facebook, etc.) and the meditations of my heart are NOT acceptable to the Lord. They are filled with worry, fear, anxiety, or frustration. And it also hit me that David was a person, just like me. And why else would he write that verse unless he realized that it is a CONSTANT battle to have pure thoughts, words, motives, etc.? And it IS a battle. One that's much harder than APPEARING on the outside to have pure thoughts, words, and motives. But it also brings out the fact that, as mentioned in the Bible so many other times, what is in one's heart is what really matters. Not the acts we may put on on the outside. Anyway......I'm still doing the conservatory search. I'm starting to think Julliard...but....sigh. I just don't know! And if I DIDN'T get accepted, what would I do? I mean, it's not like I can perfect 20 songs so that I'll have a portfolio to send to each conservatory! All of their requirements are different. I guess I'll just pray about it. Later,
sweetggirl

Interesting devotion......

It's amazing how timely some of the devotions I read out of Joni Eareckson Tada's book "Pearls of Great Price" are. Yesterday, after all of my complaining about being so overwhelmed, I read the devotion for January 31st, titled "Overwhelmed". I immediately thought, "Hey, that's my name!" So anyway, she was talking about 1 Corinthians 10:13. It's funny, because I have ALWAYS thought that that verse said that God will not give you more than you can bear. However, I have SO often misquoted that verse. It actually says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." The main paragraph that hit me was," First Corinthians 10:13 is certainly a promise - but it isn't talking about trials. It's talking about temptation. The promise is that God will always, always give you the power to say no to sin. But when it comes to heartaches, physical problems, dissapointments-things out of your control, difficult circumstances suddenly thrust upon you- you may very well be overwhenlmed beyond what you can bear. There is a kind of suffering that rips your world apart and leaves you bewildered and wounded. There are trials that overwhelm. " Then in the following paragraph, she does give a sense of comfort, saying, " It's when we are at the end of our strenght...that's when we fall helplessly into the everlasting arms of God. That's when God floods our hearts with sustaining grace." And so that's made me a bit more cheerful. And today, I realized that this complaining really isn't good. Sure, I'm stressed, but why should I carry the things the Lord has given me as burdens rather than as privileges? This post is long again,LOL. Later,
sweetggirl

Stressed to the max

This week has been REALLY rough for me. I already wrote about how tough Sunday was, and it has only gotten worse. On Monday, my piano lesson went absolutely TERRIBLE! I forgot literally EVERY piece and I've had all of them memorized for at least a month. And the one piece that I've had memorized for 6 months (which I'm playing this Saturday for the Thursday Musical...which my teacher is the president of...so if I do bad, I feel like I'm ruining her reputation), I forgot. Completely. I had to turn back in my book and look up like EVDRY SINGLE PHRASE! I told my teacher I didn't know what was up, and she said that maybe it's just the pre-performing syndrome where you have this "I-CAN'T-DO-THIS-PERFORMANCE-I-DON'T-KNOW-THE-PIECE" sorta thing going on in the back of your head. Sigh. Then, she mentioned a camp at Northwestern college that she was excited about telling me about, and (since I did some research on camps last week) I told her about this camp at Eastman which I was really excited about telling her about. I did tell her thankyou for the pamphlet about the Northwestern college camp, but I'm afraid that I came off as a bit of an ungrateful brat or something. Sigh. And I did send her another thankyou e-mail, but that's still been bugging me. Then Tuesday, I was still overwhelmed with the piano stuff. And Wednesday. And today I had practice at the St. Paul Conservatory, and I KEPT MESSING UP on simple parts and we play for the Schubert Club next Thursday! YIKES! Plus I'm playing on a harpsichord at the concert next Thursday....and that's another big stresser because I played the harpsichord today and the keys are TINY (like...MAYBE 3 inches long or something) and you hafta press REALLY hard to even get a sound, and you can't play any loud/soft dynamics on a harpsichord no matter how hard you press! And if you press too lightly, you get no sound at all! So.....I'm just really stressed out. However, I did talk to Josh and he really encouraged me by reminding me that I'm not playing for my teacher's fame or anything, but it's all about Christ. So that's what I will pray about focusing on throughout the next few weeks. Later,
sweetggirl

Life in general is just plain hard....okay, AND very confusing

Well, I did take the SAT yesterday. I think and hope that it went well....IDK though. I guess I'll find out when I get my results back. Yesterday was quite tiring though. Like.....serious brain overload. Like after the first half hour (or, okay, the first ten minutes even), I got really sidetracked and started thinking about stuff TOTALLY not pertaining to the SAT. And I TRIED to get myself to focus, but despite my efforts, I kept having these random thoughts. And then I read the sentences in the grammar stuff. It was like reading French. I couldn't make much sense out of it, but tried to manage to make sense out of it...if that makes any sense. However, I DIDN'T bring fudge or ice cream or red bull to the test and stuff. And I managed to turn off my light (WITHOUT sneaking and writing in my diary with my cell phone flashlight) before 10:30 the night before the test. Yay for me! So yeah. Then today we visited a different church again. Which I don't mind anymore I guess. I mean, now it's like sorta habit I guess.....so yeah. The "worship" songs were Christian Rock though. I mean, I knew like two of the songs, but...I will admit that it was innapropriate for a worship service. Like, the guitarist was awesome, but all you could think about was how well he was jamming on his electric guitar, not about Christ or anything. And then communion time came. And, okay, I haven't been to a communion service since I started this gluten-free stuff. So once my mom passed me the plate with bread chunks on it, I asked her "Mom, what am I supposed to do?" She just shrugged her shoulders. I don't think that she heard me. Then I passed it to Aaron, and he looked like concerned, not realizing that I wasn't taking it because I couldn't. Sigh. Then I seriously wanted to cry. And my eyes did get teary. Which messed up my eyeliner. Like I cared. I was just happy that I didn't end up outbursting in sobs. But I did learn that I should carry a gluten-free cracker in my Bible at all times. So yeah. And the message was okay....but just okay. Like, the pastor really put things in perspective for me. He was talking about how very few of us would give up eating, but how often most of us neglect feeding ourselves spiritual food. He showed a picture of this guy that stopped eating for 60 days. Then he said that most of us don't eat spiritually more than once per week. And as I know, for some, it could be never. So how spiritually malnourished are alot of professing believers? And if a person had an army, surely they wouldn't put out guys on the front lines who ate once a week. The army would get killed. Yet as believers, we engage in spiritual warfare every single moment of our lives, and how often do we feed ourselves spiritually? A "candy" spiritual book like what I like to read (and not like those are bad, because Christian literature is definately important, it just shouldn't take the place of God's Word)? Or feasting on the Bible, spiritual food, God-breathed inspiration and revelation? Anyway....this is really long. Sorry. Later,

AHAHA! OH MY GOSH! This is so funny...describes how to ace the SAT...NOT!,LOL

ROTFLMBO...while being lame...and getting ready to study for the SAT this Saturday, I was gonna tune into some youtube music (I know, I know, TERRIBLE study habit that my mom consistently tries to break, but...ya know....it makes studying more....relaxing..?) and it's SOOOOO funny. Oh my gosh,LOL. ROTFLMBO